cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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