Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
