Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
