so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
