I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My life is pants optional.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
