My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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