At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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