When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
