I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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