I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
