So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
