THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
