And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
