I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
