We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
