Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
two words...techno handjob
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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