you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
