Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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