That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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