Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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