His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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