I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
