I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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