tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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