I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
