I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
