I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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