Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize