All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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