i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
