hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
