Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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