hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
