I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
