I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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