I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
