I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize