A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
