DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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