The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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