Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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