I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
