yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
