well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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