Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
