Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
