I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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