She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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