OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I want a musical about memes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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