Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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