dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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