small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
