All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
