so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
