Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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