Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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