I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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