Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize