i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
