Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I forget how to act sober
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