Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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