Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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